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When we think of
conscious speaking – conscious conversation – we generally think of
ourselves speaking and very rarely listening. Conscious
conversation includes listening because if it’s conscious and
relationship is at the center, another person is there. Conscious
conversation means you don’t gobble up all the oxygen in a
conversation.
Practice #1:
"Criticism Fast"
I want to suggest a
few practices that can help us become conscious of this kind of
conversation. The first practice is a “criticism fast.” I’m
critical. I get home and, if the house is not in order, I’m
criticizing – if the kids don’t have their homework, I’m criticizing
and I feel terrible about it. I learned this from a very close
friend, teacher and author, Joseph Telushkin – a “criticism fast” --
and it’s really good. Note who you tend to criticize most and
abstain from offering any criticism for a 24-hour period each week..
Practice #2:
"Gossip Fast"
The second practice
is a “gossip fast.” No gossip - it’s very easy to know what gossip
is. Just ask yourself , “Would I say this if the person was standing
here?” And it will be so easy. And the last practice is to make
somebody feel better with words every single day – one person – use
words to upgrade.
If you do these
practices and you take seriously the difference between subjective
and objective truth, you will understand the wisdom of the Psalmist
who teaches that the person who wants and earns life is the person
who guards his tongue from evil. That’s “Simple Wisdom” |
