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Simple wisdom tells us that
we most fully manifest who we are in our relationships. Simple
wisdom also tells us that it is there between self and other that the
deepest meaning of life is realized. But we also know that it is
there that we are also exposed to the deepest pain, to wounding and
being wounded in turn. So it is hardly a surprise that many of us turn
away -- inwardly if not outwardly -- from the people in our lives,
seeking to protect ourselves from the risks of exposure. Such safety
comes at a high price, at too high a price really, since we cannot be
fulfilled or happy if we keep ourselves at a safe distance.
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Simple wisdom tells us that we must
connect, that we must not flee into the impersonal and that
self-sufficiency is a wrongheaded ideal. But more significantly, simple
wisdom helps us to stay the course by teaching us how to stay the
course, by teaching us what we need to know if we want to deepen and
strengthen our relation- ships. Simple wisdom shows us how to navigate
the rough water that is part of every relationship except the most
superficial. Even more, simple wisdom shows us how to turn the
inevitable difficulties into opportunities for deepening our connection
with the people in our lives. Practicing acceptance, learning
forgiveness and above all learning the art of conscious conversation
give us the tools for enriching and developing our connection reflex.
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