Show Transcripts

SW03: A New Spirituality

Hello, I’m Irwin Kula and welcome to “Simple Wisdom.”  We live in an age in which there is so much change and so much choice that it is difficult to know exactly where to stand.  “Simple Wisdom” brings the insights of an ancient tradition to the challenges of daily living in the hope that we can make life a little bit more meaningful, a little bit more creative and a little bit more loving.  

Today we are going to talk about a subject that has probably gotten more attention  in the last decade than in the last century in America.  The subject is spirituality.  You hear it all the time: spirituality – the seeking of spirituality.  We are going to talk about what the cultural context of spirituality is, and what is going on in America that is making people seek spirituality.  Then I’m going to offer a different definition of spirituality than the dominant one that is present on the American scene today – one that I think will get us out of a cul-de-sac that the definition on the American scene has gotten us into.  And the best part – I’m going to tell some stories, stories that evoke a spiritual experience because you really can’t talk about spirituality in a linear way – step one, two, three – and think that you’re going to be able to feel spiritual.  

Spirituality is an experience – it’s not something you argue for.  You have to taste it – you have to ride it. It’s kind of like an orange – if I told you about an orange and I told you every possible thing about an orange, you still wouldn’t know what it tastes like until you have tasted it.  If I told you everything there is to know about a bicycle -- how to build it, how to ride it – if I gave you one hundred steps [on how] to ride it and you got on, the first thing that would happen is that you would fall off because to know a bicycle you would have to ride it.  Well it’s the same with spirituality.  You have to taste it, you have to ride it.  

Now spirituality in America has become a very big business.  You go to any bookstore – any major bookstore – and the largest section in the book store is Spirituality/New Age.  People are buying hundreds and hundreds of books [on this topic].  I’ve bought many of those books and somehow it feels like a treadmill.  You read these “how to’s” and it’s a head thing, not a heart thing.  You look at magazines like Newsweek. Newsweek recently had a cover story and I want to get this right because it’s amazing: “The Search for the Sacred in America.”  On the cover of Newsweek – we’re talking about mainstream.  Listen to this from the Wall Street Journal.  The WSJ and Spirituality – maybe actually that’s a spiritual moment. The WSJ lead story: “Corporate Execs Hunting Down Spiritual Directors to Monitor the State of their Soul for Internal Movements of God.”  In light of the past,  it seems to me they should be worrying a lot more about internal audits than the internal movement of God in their soul.  And most recently a cover story in Fortune: “God in Business.”  Well, it’s good to know that God is in business.  What is going on?  What is happening?  

Well, first of all, we had about 2,000 years in which spirituality was here and the material was here, and spirituality was real and materialism wasn’t.  The last couple of hundred years it’s been materialism [that] is real and spirituality [that] isn’t real.  Sometimes I put it this way, if you want an easy way to remember it.  If you were spiritual for most of the last 2,000 years, it meant you thought money was dirty.  Now if you are on a spiritual search – people are probably making money off your spiritual search.  We’ve come full circle. And, of course, the problem is – you can’t have the spiritual here and the material here.  So here’s a definition, very simple.  The word “spirit” in Hebrew – the most ancient wisdom word for spirit is ruach,  which means wind.  It comes from the very first verse in the bible.  In the beginning, when God created, there was a wind flowing across the world.  That wind – that life force -- is what spirit is.  It’s no more complicated.  

That means that by definition we are spiritual right now.  The spirit is flowing through.  We’re not just bodies.  We’re spirited bodies.  So the only issue is, do you see it?  Spirituality is not a noun.  Spirituality can’t be found.  Spirituality can’t be sought.  Spirituality can’t be acquired.  Spirituality can’t be bought. Spirituality is here.  The word in the bible for that is hineni, “I Am Present.”   All you have to do is be present with an open heart and you’re spiritual.  One of my teachers called spirituality normal mysticism.  When you think of something normal you think of something ordinary – not mysticism.  And when you think of mysticism, you think of something far out.  No, normal mysticism – it’s ordinary life with an open heart – that’s it – and anyone who makes it more complicated, chances are if they make it more complicated they are one of those gurus or celebrity spiritualists who have the infrastructure of a sports club.  It’s very simple.  Can you approach your own life with an open heart?  If you do that, you find two things – two things that are already there.  First, you find that you are an image of God.  You’re of infinite value.  You’re worthy of being loved independent of anything you do, just by virtue of who you are, by definition.  Your very life is a gift and you know that.  If you open your heart, you know one other thing – that you’re connected to other people all of life, that the separate part of who you are is only a partial truth and there is another part which is that all of us are interconnected somehow and we feel it at times.  So two things: do you feel that you really are a worthy human being independent of everything – that you’re an Image of God -- and do you feel that you are connected?  The fancy language is: all is one.  You don’t have to feel – all is one.  Just a little connected. That’s the beginning of the experience.  

Now I want to tell you two stories – one about understanding the inner part [inner experience of spirituality] and one [about understanding] the outside part [external experience of spirituality].  If you look outside for the inside part, you won’t find it – which is the dilemma of the American experience.  There was a man named Reb Isaac who lived in a village outside of Krakow – it was a small village – and night after  night after night for six months, he had the exact same dream: that there was a buried treasure at the gates of the big city of Krakow.  Well, finally he decided he was going to make the trip to the big city and he was going to find this treasure.  He makes the trip, gets to the gates, and there is a guard watching the gates.  He figures he’ll wait until the evening and maybe the guard will go away, maybe there will be a change. Eventually, he makes some conversation with the guard.  The guard says: “What are you doing here?”  Reb Isaac says to the guard: “Well, I’ve had this dream over and over again that there is this treasure buried right at the gates and if you help me uncover it, I’ll share the treasure with you.”  The guard begins to laugh hysterically.  He says: “You silly man.  What are you following?  I have a dream every single night.  There is this guy living in a village outside of Krakow.  His name is Isaac and there is a treasure buried in his house.  Reb Isaac turned around, he went home, and he uncovered the buried treasure right under his stove.  Well, of course, what’s [the meaning of] this story?   It’s a simple story: that the treasure that we are calling spirituality is right here [within us] and the more you look outside, the less you can find it, which is why it’s a treadmill.  I’m going to save you hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars and hundreds and hundreds of hours – it’s right here [within us].  

Now on the outside, you also have to open up your eyes.  Here’s a cute little story.  Sam and Dave went through the Exodus from Egypt and they were going through the split sea.  They get right to the end of the split sea and Sam says to Dave: “Did you see that?  It was the most amazing thing – the sea split – it was spectacular.”  And Dave is looking down, trying to get the mud out of his shoe.  He missed it all.  So the only question is – on the inside – are you going to go deep and look and feel and see, and on the outside – are you going to actually open up your eyes to see what’s really possible?  There are no tricks.

Actually, there’s one rule.  I only have one rule for spirituality….You have to give it some time and maybe that’s the biggest problem in America –we have no time.  We’re moving so fast.  You can’t feel stuff if, proverbially, you don’t stop and smell the roses.  By the way, watch those cliches – most of the time a cliché is a cliché because it actually has a truth in it or it wouldn’t be a cliché.  You have to slow down.  That’s why every single wisdom tradition, every single one that we know of, has a breathing practice --  because if you take a deep breath, by definition, you have to slow down.  Let’s take a deep breath.  Think of it.  How often do you even take a deep breath?  You can go a whole day and take [short] breaths that go this far as opposed to [deep breaths] that [go that] far.  No deep breath, and I promise you – you can read a thousand books on spirituality – but no deep breath and you will not have the experience.  Of course, the beautiful thing about our breath is that it connects the inside and the outside.  When you breathe in, you breathe in the molecules and the atoms of people who lived thousands of years ago, and when you breathe out, you breathe out into the world [and] for thousands of years to come people will breathe in your atoms and molecules.  So not only do you slow down on the inside, but it connects you from the inside to the outside – which, of course, is the spiritual experience.  

Now it’s time for stories because stories are really the way to feel things.  Now, you have to listen to a story by relaxing, taking the story in.  I’m going to tell you these stories.  These are spiritual experiences that I’ve had with people, but it’s not these stories because really it’s your stories and they all start the same way – every single story starts the same way.  People come up to me and they say: “Rabbi, I’m not religious and I’m not spiritual,” and then they proceed to tell me a religious and spiritual story.  Everyone is like that.  So if you feel that you’re not religious and you’re not spiritual and this is not your thing – that you don’t know how to do this – that’s actually the person who is probably most spiritual these days.  The people who [feel they] are most spiritual tend to be the least spiritual and the people who [feel they] are the least spiritual tend to be the most spiritual.  

Here’s the first story. It’s called the doctor from Nantucket – not to be confused with the limerick.  I was once outside of Boston near the Cape on vacation and I sat down at an ice cream stand with my wife.  It was one of those stands where you had a table of four and so two people sat down next to us and the guy asked me what I do.  I said, “I’m a rabbi” and that wound up creating a conversation about how much he despised his Judaism and religion, and how religion is stupid and all that kind of stuff.  I’m trying to get away and I decided I’m just going to say to him, “Well, what do you do?” to change the conversation.  He says to me: “Oh, I’m the head of fertility in one of the major hospitals on the east coast.  I said: “Wow, that’s amazing – what does that feel like?”  He said to me: “You’ll never understand.”  Well, now I’m hearing religious language – I won’t understand. “Well, give me a try.”  He says to me (I promise you these are the words he uses): “Well, you see, when I’m very lucky (spiritual word “blessed”), a person comes into my office who has death inside and leaves with life.  I turned to him and, first of all, I was floored because that’s about as significant a spiritual statement as you can have -- from death to life.  And I said to him: “You know, do you think it’s in any way possible that what you do in the deepest, deepest, deepest part of your subconscious – do you think it’s possibly connected to the very first command in the first book of the bible which is the very beginning of western civilization and which says: ‘Be fruitful and      multiply’ “?  He bursts out in tears.  Because of course when the inside meets the outside—when you understand what it is you are deeply doing by just looking at it a little more deeply – you find your home. That’s the experience.  

Here’s another story. This is the builder from Boca, and pardon me for the alliteration, but it’s really true. This is a guy who builds a lot of homes.  One day, I’m having dinner in southern Florida with this guy.  The guy says to me: “I’m not religious, I’m not spiritual, but I have to tell you this story.”  He says to me: “Do you know what a mezuzah is?”  Now a mezuzah is a sign that Jews put on their doorpost as a symbol of peace in the home.  There’s no rabbi in the entire world who doesn’t know what a mezuzah is.  That’s how disconnected this guy is.  He says: “Do you know what a mezuzah is?”  I say: “Yes, I know.”  He says: “It’s a fantastic thing.” I say: “What do you know about a mezuzah?”  He says: “I’m a builder. I built last year about 125 homes and when I finished each home and I give the keys over, what I do is, I always bring a mezuzah.”  I say: “What?  Do you bring it to Jews and people who aren’t Jewish?”  He says: “Yes, of course, because it’s a practice and works for anybody.”  I say: “Well, what do you do?”  He says: “You don’t understand (because I don’t own a home), but for people their home is their largest financial investment and it’s really much more than a home.  So I put up a mezuzah and tell them: may your home always have the kind of peace that influences you outside your home.” I say: “What do people do?”  He says: “Basically, every single person begins to cry.”  This guy is a mezuzah master. This guy understands something that is central to the spiritual journey: that you always need to find a home – that your own home is much more than simply a building.  All he did was look at his life more carefully and he saw that his practice is actually his life.  It’s not about all the practices.  It’s a matter of seeing your life as a practice.  

Here’s a third story.  This is a technology conference story which is generally not the most spiritual place. You know technology is in the most material part of the world and then you have spirituality.  I was at this conference and I witnessed this experiment with a new piece of technology.  It was specifically a kind of a voice mechanism that, if you had no vocal chords, somehow you could speak through it.  And they were testing it right in front of 800 people.  They put this 26 year old young man in this chair and they hooked him up.  His mother was with him and his mother had cared for him his whole life and the first words this kid said was: “I love you, mommy.”  If you had three words to say – I love you – tell me who is more spiritual: the guy who invents that [mechanism], who understands how to give infinite dignity to someone who couldn’t speak and who could now say: I love you – or the people who were doing all the spiritual techniques and studying themselves instead of changing the world?   

Another technology story – the same conference.  This guy (Dean Kamens) invented a wheelchair that stands up – literally, it stands up and it can walk down steps and it also can go into the sand because this guy is an inventor and he is a brilliant guy – secular and not spiritual – but this guy is the most spiritual guy who, of course, is not spiritual.  He builds things to upgrade people’s lives and he felt it was terrible that a person couldn’t get to the seashore, so this wheelchair actually goes on the seashore.  Well, as a test they had a woman, in her 20s, who had been a paraplegic since early in her life due to a car accident.  Her mother was with her and put her in the wheelchair and the wheelchair stands up on its wheels. The mother looks right into the daughter’s eyes, hugs her and says -- and there are 800 people in the room – “I have not hugged you eye to eye, – I have not hugged you eye to eye, face to face, ever.”  What’s spiritual and what’s not?  Isn’t that what the spiritual experience is?  People who can create that kind of world – a mother and a daughter who can relate at that level.  It seems to me that that is spirituality.  

I know a 56 year old man, a very special person.  His father died when his father was 56.  When he became 56, it was a remarkable moment in his life and he dedicated himself every single day, post his turning 56, [to being] grateful for that day and to remembering his father.  Is that spirituality?  Isn’t that being present to the moment?  Isn’t that understanding that the inside -- who you most deeply are -- and how you live in the world need to coincide, and all it is is looking at your own life – with a little more depth, just a little more depth – and everything changes.  

Here’s another story.  I’m on the airplane and a guy sitting next to me sees that I’m wearing a yarmulke and I’m studying something and says: “Oh, are you a rabbi?”  “Yes, I’m a rabbi.”  “Oh, I’m Jewish, too.”  And he proceeds to tell me: “I’m not religious and I’m not spiritual and, in fact, I think the whole thing is ridiculous, but I want to tell you this thing that I do and I can’t believe I’m not going to do it tonight because I’m out-of-town, but every night that I’m at home – I tuck my kids in.”  By the way, the fact that it’s a man doing that already makes it an interesting story.  “I tuck my kids in and I put my hands on their heads and I give them a blessing and I always tell them a story about either their grandparents or their great-grandparents.”  I said: “What?  Do you know that there is a spiritual practice of saying a prayer, the Shema, before you go to sleep?”  He said: “No, I didn’t know that.”  I said: “Why do you do that?”  He said: “Because you really can’t grow up as a whole human being unless you know your past.”  Who are the spiritual masters these days and who are not the spiritual masters?  Who understands what it means to make life your practice and who is obsessed with practices so you can’t get to life?  All it is, is looking deeply at your own life.  

Now I want to suggest two practices that we could do.  The first is the very simple practice of taking a breath -- taking a breath every single day. You can do it every hour on the hour -- a deep breath. You can take 15 minutes in the evening to take breaths.  It doesn’t matter, but we need to take the time to be able to look deeply inside and to see how we are operating outside in light of that.  

And the second practice is really a gratefulness practice.  Gratitude is probably the most important emotion in developing the spiritual experience.  When you are grateful in the world, you are much more open.  And who among us doesn’t have a reason to be grateful?  Think about it – no matter what our life is like – the fact that we are alive gives us reason for gratitude – just the fact that we are alive.  I have a teacher who said [that] consciousness is like tofu.  What does tofu taste like?  Tofu doesn’t taste like anything until you marinate it in something.  And he said: “If you marinate the tofu in something bitter, you will have a bitter consciousness and you will exude bitterness, and if you marinate your consciousness in something sweet, you will have a sweeter life because your consciousness looks out at the world and determines how you are going to feel about things.”  So marinate your consciousness in gratefulness – marinate your consciousness in gratitude.  And here’s the easiest way to do it.  When morning comes and you wake up, the very first thought – and it will take you one month to train yourself to think it and then you’ll do it for your whole life -- the very first thought needs to be “I thank you” or “I am thankful” – the very first thought.  You know, sometimes you get up and the first thought is : “Oh, I have a meeting that I can’t believe I’m not prepared for.”  Or “I can’t believe I have to go out of town.”  Or “I have to resolve that fight.”  And you start your day with a consciousness, marinated in oy vey.  Well, don’t imprison yourself that way.  Start by marinating that consciousness in gratefulness.  Sometimes it could be – you get out of bed and you open the shades or you open the drapes and the first thing you see is morning light.  For most of human history, night time was a great source of fear because it was such darkness and now we can have light 24 hours, but still there is nothing like morning light.  You open that shade – you look at that morning light – and you say: “Wow, light overcomes darkness.  My life is hopeful.  Gratefulness is the key.” 

Now you do these two practices and you think about not all the techniques – not all the searching – but [about] who you are – and I promise you that you’ll feel this every single day: This is the day that was made for me to feel joyous and glad and that’s “Simple Wisdom.”  I’m Irwin Kula and thank you very much.  I look forward to seeing you again.